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I have nothing against them. I like bagels, complaining, self-deprecating humor, and overblown camp stories as much as the next person. I just always went for goys. Their light hair, white skin and freakishly tall bodies just did it for me. For a brief amount of time, I even dated a Lebanese girl.
Without question the best thing about being Jewish is the free sex vacation to Israel. Most Jewish youths between the ages of 18 and 26 have taken advantage of this miraculous perk to enjoy a weeklong, all-expenses-paid orgy in the desert. I am, of course, referring to Birthright.